Wardrobe Problems
by Lucinda
Summary: Drabbles & neardrabbles inn response to Jinni's Wardrobe Malfunction challenge.  Each chapter is a seperate drabble.
1. Your Belt?

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg, pg13?  
  
main character: Xander  
  
disclaimer: Xander is the creation of Joss Whedon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Beth and Elisa Maza are from Disney's Gargoyles.  
  
distribution: INeedAParrot, XanderZone, TNL, TWisting - anyone else ask.  
  
note: written in response to Jinni's 'Wardrobe Malfunction' drabble challenge, although it grew a bit.  
  
Xander grinned as he walked along the street. His graduation present to himself was a road trip across America, or at least until he got tired of driving. Now, he was in New York, enjoying the fresh air. Okay, the not so fresh air, but it wasn't home sweet hellmouth. Somewhere around here, the had to be a Laundromat, though, he was now the proud owner of a whole suitcase of dirty clothing.  
  
That was when someone screamed. Scooby instincts kicking in, he ran towards the screams, hoping that it was something that he could help with. A dark haired woman was cornered by three guys, one of whom had a knife. All of them seemed human, and it looked like a mugging. He barely had time to think 'this is a dumb idea' before he charged in.  
  
Naturally, he got cut by the knife, his shirt ripped and cut, ending up completely ruined. But by far the most embarrassing damage was a shallow slice along his abdomen that had left a little cut on him, and completely sliced his belt apart. The belt that was holding up his pants.  
  
Xander made a desperate grab for the pants as they tried to drop, and kicked the last mugger down. He half glanced at the woman, asking "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks." She was smiling, her dark eyes filled with amusement and gratitude. "I'm Beth Maza."  
  
"I'm Xander Harris." He managed to smile, and to resist the urge to ask for something to put him out of his humiliation.  
  
"I appreciate the rescue." She leaned in, enabling Xander to smell the faint hint of some perfume clinging to her. "Maybe I can let you borrow a belt before my sister shows up and gets the wrong idea?"  
  
He'd barely got the borrowed belt on, which made the shallow slice sting in protest, when another woman, this one a bit harder looking and wearing a red jacket showed up.   
  
"Beth? What… why are there three guys on the ground?" She was looking at the fallen muggers, one eyebrow raised.  
  
"Elisa, I can explain everything." Beth's words were almost convincing.  
  
"Why is that guy wearing your belt?" Elisa's question left them both stammering, trying to explain with no success.  
  
end Your Belt. 


	2. Better Than Wrestling

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
main character: Joyce  
  
disclaimer: Joyce is the creation of Joss Whedon. I don't own the fighting guys either.  
  
distribution: Twisting, anyone else just ask.  
  
note: written for Jinni's 'Wardrobe malfunction' drabble challenge.  
  
The night out had sounded like a really good idea. Just go to a club with her friends, relax, have few drinks, and forget the fact that Dave had just broke up with her, and Hank didn't really know that she was of the opposite sex.  
  
Of course, that was before she'd realized that Carol's idea was to use her as the designated driver, and Sue just wanted to find a yummy guy to go home with. Joyce leaned against the wall, trying to remind herself that she was not going to cry. Maybe if she just slipped out back for a quick cigarette, or a few moments of relative quiet…  
  
She'd no sooner got outside than what sounded like a small war rolled up. Actually, it was a pair of guys fighting, one this huge blond guy built like a Greek god, and the other a shorter guy with dark hair and muscles to die for. Judging from the way their clothing had been half shredded, they both had knives, and she kept seeing glimpses of flashing silver, and blood, and they were both… growling?  
  
The pair kept fighting, apparently trying to kill each other, and as they fought, scraps of clothing fell away. Turned out that the big blond not only didn't believe in underwear, but he was… well, that was definitely bigger than the statues of the Greek gods. Slowly, Joyce edged back towards the door, figuring that the unknown men were busy having their fight.  
  
"Wolverine! Where did he go?" Somewhere, a man was shouting, and it sounded like the shouting person was getting closer.  
  
Joyce slipped back inside, her day suddenly much brighter. That had been much better than wresting as shown on television. Wow.  
  
end Better than Wrestling.  
  
ps: in case you didn't know or guess, the fighting guys are Wolverine and Sabertooth, set before Joyce and Hank Summers got married. 


	3. Bond Girl Darla

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
main character: Darla  
  
disclaimer: Darla is the creation of Joss Whedon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, James Bond is... not mine, although I'm not quite certain who DOES own the legal rights to that character.  
  
distribution: TNL, TWisting - anyone else ask.  
  
note: written in response to Jinni's 'Wardrobe Malfunction' drabble challenge, although it grew a bit.  
  
Darla meandered out of the bedroom, clad only in a thin silk robe. Dipping her toes in the indoor pool that had been placed under a skylight, she debated the effort of making this fabulous mansion vampire friendly, or just moving on. The previous owner had been fooled by her annoyingly modest outfit, believing her to be a shy and young woman that he could lure of and… enjoy. Naturally, she'd turned the tables on him. He'd been quite delicious.  
  
There was a faint noise, like a helicopter overhead, and then a man crashed through the skylight, his arms flailing as he plummeted towards the pool. One flailing hand caught her sleeve, not only yanking the robe from her body, but pulling her into the pool as well.  
  
Sputtering more from shock than anything else, Darla surfaced, raking her hair out of her face as she looked at the man in the pool. "Who are you?"  
  
He looked at her, his eyes widening and an appreciative smile appearing as he realized that she was now naked and soaking. "Bond, James Bond." Holding one hand towards her, he realized that there was fabric clutched in it. "I believe this is yours?"  
  
End Bond Girl Darla. 


	4. Falling Redheads

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
disclaimer: Oz is the creation of Joss Whedon for the series 'Buffy the Vampre Slayer', the redhead (Rachel Summers/Phoenix) and the flying man (Captain Britain) are the creation of Marvel Comics, and are members of the British-based team Excalibur.  
  
distribution: Luba if she wants it, Cat, Paula, Twisting - anyone else ask.  
  
note: written in response to Jinni's Wardrobe Malfunction drabble challenge. Set post Wild at Heart (S4 BtVS), and around issue 2-ish of Excalibur (before they moved to the Lighthouse).  
  
Oz walked along the street, taking in the sights of London. He'd been told that the nightlife could get pretty intense, and was hoping to find out if the rumor was true. Then, he heard a strange whistling sound, and a gorgeous red haired woman in some tiny bits of leather clothing fell from the sky, knocking him to the sidewalk.  
  
In the struggle to regain more vertical positions, her little leather top… didn't come quite as vertical as the rest of her. Oz sucked in a breath, partly out of pure appreciation of the view, and partly out of surprise. "Your shirt…"  
  
She blinked her eyes, green with a sheen of fire over them, and glanced down. "Well, that should teach me to leave the jacket home."  
  
"Rachel! Now is not the time to flirt!" A muscular man bellowed from the air.  
  
Oz glanced at the flying man in some sort of tight costume that resembled the British flag, and then back at Rachel, who was now in some tight fitting body covering red leather outfit with spikes, wisps of fire around her body as she lifted into the air on wings of flame.  
  
Oz shook his head. "Weird."  
  
end Falling Redheads. 


	5. Questions?

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
main character: Joyce, appearance by Giles  
  
disclaimer: Joyce and Giles are the creation of Joss Whedon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
distribution: TNL, TWisting - anyone else ask.  
  
note: written in response to Jinni's 'Wardrobe Malfunction' drabble challenge. Set after season 2, before season 3.  
  
Joyce couldn't deal with the questions anymore, she needed some answers. What was her daughter caught up in, what pressures had lead to her claiming that she was something called a Slayer, and that the safety of the world rested on her shoulders. Rupert Giles was the man with the answers.  
  
She had little trouble making her way to his house, and only a moment's qualm about going right inside. He'd offered to try to explain things if she wanted to listen, but at the time, she'd been too angry, too distraught over Buffy's disappearance. The house seemed oddly quiet, and she wondered where he could be.  
  
She made her way to the top of the stairs, and heard a small noise from the bedroom. She wasn't quite certain what prompted it, but she reached out to the doorknob, and flung the door to his bedroom open.  
  
The door opened, creating a draft that had the interesting side effect of pulling open the front of his robe, allowing her to see… Rupert Giles. There was absolutely nothing else under his robe but Rupert Giles. Her jaw dropped.  
  
"Oh my…" Joyce gasped, her eyes wide. The questions were all gone now.  
  
End Questions? 


	6. Birdseed

author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg13  
  
main charactrer: Xander, appearances of Faith and Buffy  
  
disclaimer: Xander, Faith, Buffy and Giles are the creations of Joss Whedon for the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There is a mention/comparision to Big Bird, property of Henson Puppets.  
  
distribution: INeedAParrot, Quickfics, ZanderZone - anyone else ask.  
  
notes: set in season 3, before Faith went bad. Response to Jinni's Wardrobe MalfunctionDrabble Challenge.  
  
Xander had been sent to find Buffy and Faith to tell them that Giles had figured out how to kill the latest rampaging demons, a pair of things that looked like evil Big Birds. They'd been in a little park, fighting the nasty things, which meant that he was just in time.  
  
Carefully, he reached into his pocket, thinking that this was going to look ridiculous, and threw a handful of birdseed at the closest demon-bird. It started to convulse, and yellow ooze began to run from under the feathers as it melted.  
  
"A little help?" Faith sounded breathless as she ducked the wicked beak of the other demon.  
  
Grabbing a fistful of birdseed, Xander lunged, hurling the seeds at close range. The wing buffet flung him into Faith, and he heard something rip as they fell.  
  
Looking over, Xander discovered that not only was he sprawled on top of Faith, but her worn tank top had chosen now to give up, revealing this little lacy black bra. His jaw dropped, and his mouth went dry. "ahhh… oops?"  
  
Buffy started to snicker.  
  
Faith glanced at her chest, and then at Xander. "Wardrobe malfunction. Want to make it up to me?"  
  
end Birdseed. 


End file.
